4922/Eating Crow

Eating Crow
Date of Scene:	15 July 2018
Location:	Unknown
Synopsis:	Emma checks in on Josh and delivers an unexpected apology. Their conversation is much more civil this go around.
Cast of Characters:	Emma Frost, Elixir

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Emma Frost has posed:
Emma Frost was not one to often acknowledge she's made a mistake, and even less likely to voice such a thought in the presence of others. However, she was aware that when it came to one Josh Foley, she'd miscalculated. What had worked with so many others had failed with him.. for various reasons both her fault, and things outside of her control. But when he'd left her that message stating she'd been right about a few things, Emma felt it necessary to seek out the boy and have the talk she'd intended in the first place.

Luckily, he's not that hard to find. A few queries. A bit of searching the area for familiar engrams.. A quick stop at a local diner for take out.. and bob's your uncle.

Thus it was Emma arrives at Josh's tenament building, a rather large bag in hand, and considering next steps in contacting the boy.

Elixir has posed:
Josh is easy enough to sense if Emma tries, up on the third floor. The building is only about 5 stories tall, brick, and has seen much better days. Gang graffiti marks the walls and only some of the lights out front work. The lobby smells like urine, old cigarette smoke and fresh dope. Thankfully, the smells fade to musty old carpet by the time one gets to the third floor.

The carpet in the hallway is threadbare down the middle, some ghastly red and black affair from who knows how long ago. TV's can be heard from various suites. Some woman is yelling angrily in a suite further down. The nearest door to Josh is 306. If Emma knocks, there is some rustling that can be heard through paper thin walls and a tired looking Josh opens the door. His eyes go wide in surprise and some mild alarm, when he sees Emma standing there. He swallows.

"Hi, Ms. Frost... Um... Come in?"

Behind him, the apartment is sparse in the extreme. There is a table with two chairs. There is no other furniture. In the tiny galley kitchen, there are a few plastic shopping bags full of various things sitting on the counters.

Josh looks distinctly embarassed as he moves aside for Emma.

Emma Frost has posed:
There are plenty of things about Emma's past that very few know about, and Emma likes to keep it that way. However, if Josh thought that Emma was a stranger to such dives, he'd be sorely mistaken.

He's easy enough to find. And she does toy with calming the scene down the hallway down, deciding not to in the end in the interests of keeping her own visit covered under the buffer of other people's noises. When he opens the door, Emma gives Josh a hint of a smile, and inclines her head. "Why thank-you." Without preamble, she moves inside, and assesses the place while Josh closes and locks the door behind her.

Given his furniture, she settles at his table, and begins to unload the bag of foodstuffs she's brought. Several hambugers each; extra fries; two pieces of pie; soft drinks. She opens up a serviette and lays it out like a plate before her, looking ever so much like she's been seated at a fine dining restaurant to have a gourmet meal, and looks over to Josh. "Well, come on. The food is better while it's hot. The leftovers will reheat, but you should enjoy this while it's optimal."

Elixir has posed:
Josh blinks, watching her from the front door like she may be some kind of strange visitation from the beyond. He does not move, in fact, until she prompts him to.

"Um, right..." he says. He gathers up the papers that were out on one side of the table, many of them marked STARK, and puts them on the kitchen counter. Then he comes and sits down cautiously. He reaches for a drink, a burger, some fries. All the while watching Emma with sideways glances.

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma politely ignores Josh' housekeeping, and digs into her fries with surprising and casual ease. "So. I've been hearing things about you, young man, and I got your note. I thought I'd come and check things out myself, and get the story straight from you. As well as perhaps discuss that last little message you sent. But first, food, and how are you doing?"

Emma looks over to the boy, and takes him in from an appraising point of view. Really, just *how* is he doing?

Elixir has posed:
Josh is clean, and his clothes look as they ever do, which is a good sign. He looks tired, and at the moment, apprehensive. There is a rush of emotions running through his undisciplined mind, not the least of which are guilt and embarassment centered on Emma. If his face could colour, it would.

He takes a bite of his burger, chews and covers his mouth with his hand. "That's really good," he says around a mouthful of food. He takes another bite and swallows, then puts the burger down. "I'm doing alright, like, just getting things sorted out. Went to Walmart today," he says and gestures to the bags in the kitchen. "But I'm okay... You?"

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma continues to munch upon fries, leaving her burger wrapped and untouched for the moment. "I figured since I was barging in on you, the least I could do was bring dinner. I suspected you'd enjoy this much more than other fare I might have brought. As for myself? I'm sufficing. As usual."

"Have you everything you need here?" Pointedly not mentioning the lack of furniture, or the spartanness of the apartment in general. "I've noted that you're doing internship with Stark Industries. An interesting move. You'll have to tell me about that." Ignoring, for the moment, the elephant in the room.

Elixir has posed:
Josh swallows hard, then takes a sip of his drink.

"This is really.... thoughtful..." he says of the food. "I'm getting there, I like bought some dishes and stuff and a sleeping bag, that kind of thing. Didn't know how much a place needs until I had to think about buying, I guess. But if I'm careful with the money I'm making at STARK I can probably get some more stuff.," he brightens a bit when he mentions the internship. Images of Tony Stark up close with his entourage, driving some kind of fancy car, sitting at a table with Stark, then a flood of more recent memories of a glass and steel biomedical laboratory, excitement, awe.

"If it's not enough maybe I can get a second job." He shrugs and shifts in his seat. "I met Mr. Stark, actually. Ms. Drew invited me to the Avengers Mansion, and I healed him up. He was kind of beat up." Mixed images and emotions; excitement, the feel of fading injuries, a sense of some broad, diffuse injury, an image of Stark gasping for breath, concern, apologetic. "He offered to put me on retainer, and the next day I got a package saying I got an internship at a STARK bio-lab."

Emma Frost has posed:
There's a considered snort of soft sound from Emma at that information. "Interesting. And you're learning alot?" After all, it wouldn't do for the boy to be vacant from Xavier's unless he were learning things of value, and while he might not yet appreciate her stance on things, Emma's main concern lay fully in the realms of making certain youth like Josh actually advanced in their abilities - both as mutants, and as people. Emma was less concerned with where the boy got that experience, only that he did. And that he learned to control and improve his abilities.

"I'm sure you'll do fine. Second jobs will interfere with your studies. If you need further funds, you send word to me and I'll make certain you receive what you need. Call it a loan if you must for pride's sakes, but we're not going to enterain any nonsense that shackles you to a job when your job right now is learning."

Elixir has posed:
Josh shifts uncomfortably. "I, uh... thanks," he settles on. "And I am learning a lot, people fight for interships like this. The other interns are all graduate students, so I've got a /ton/ to learn, just to get by. Should really help me applying to NYU so I get back to school."

Emma Frost has posed:
"Not quite what I meant, young man." Emma levels a look at him. They both know that's not what she meant. "Too often youth fall down the rabbithole of 'just until I get back on my feet' and find themselves retiring from jobs they never intended upon making a career out of. Not that Stark Industries is a poor career choice, but you will do better both for yourself and any future employer by continung your formal education."

Emma shrugs.

"I just happen to be in a position to fund such indulgences as scholarships. And, yes. You do have a ton to learn. Some of which we spoke of in the past. I do believe our wires got crossed that day, and given your latest missive to myself, I'd like to see if we can rectify that mistake and set matters straight, hrm?"

Worlds might be imploding, and hell freezing over. Emma Frost just as much as admitted she'd not only made a mistake, but that she might be sorry. Well, she didn't say she was sorry, but the word rectify was used. As well as mistake. In Emma speech, both were momentous.

Elixir has posed:
Josh looks up from his food, making eye contact with Emma for the first time, then he looks down at it again and keeps eating.

"Um, yeah, about that. I was, like, way out of line... I just... Well, it doesn't matter, but I'm sorry. And you were right. What do I know about being a mutant, much less being a New Mutant? I'm not ready for either," he says with a shake of the head. He swallows again. "I kinda get that now."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma shrugs, and continues to calmly eat french fries. "Well, we were both somewhat distracted by other agendas. I confess, my enthusiasm for impressing upon you the importance of learning who and what you are before rushing off and thinking you have all the answers and getting into trouble may have left me somewhat harsher than I intended to be."

Yep. Hell freezes over. If it was debatable before, that singular admission is certainly an apology - Emma style, but still an apology.

"Your note tells me that you've run into troubles. I do believe that we have a discussion to have. One that actually addresses your concerns, and mine, and may leave you on better footing, hrm?" He's regarded with an arch of brow before she picks up her drink and has a few swallows.

"You can't escape being a mutant, Josh. Not unless you find someone willing to block you from your talents. Which would be a shame. You are a rahter uniquely skilled individual, and we could use more like yourself. However, more to the point, you can learn to use your abilities more efficiently and to better advantage. Much as your sojourn in Stark Industries will do you good stead, they can't teach you the things you would learn with a mentor who is a mutant."

Elixir has posed:
"I know," he admits. "Nobody at STARK can teach me that stuff. And I can't hide from being mutant" he says, holding up his hands. They glint golden in the light of the single overhead bulb. "Doesn't mean I'm ready for Xavier's. Or to be one of those wonderful mutants you talked about. Doesn't mean I know much about being a mutant, not like the people living around here. I went from my sheltered little suburban bubble into the little bubble world at the school without stopping in between to see anything real. "

Emma Frost has posed:
There's a soft, almost bitter laugh from Emma. "Well, Xavier's isn't the only path. However, at the time, it was the most expedient path to get you what you needed. As for the New Mutants, they are limping along on their own as it happens. Neither here nor there at the moment. More to the point, you were using those things as an excuse to avoid the crux of the conversation, which was that you need a mentor, and not a mundane."

She refuses to use Erik's terminology of 'flatscan'.

"I'm afraid I let matters slip from my control in our last meeting. I'd only meant to impress upon you that fact, and instead we managed to delve into matters that really had no bearing upon the conversation."

Another negligent shrug is given. Another fry is dispatched. "I wish to clear up a small matter, if you're willing to entertain my thoughts for a moment?"

Elixir has posed:
"Yeah, of course, Ms. Frost," he says, taking sudden renewed interest in his burger. It really was good. Better than what passed for his attempt at cooking the night before.

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma quietly pushes her burger over to Josh's side of the table, and continues to munch upon her fries. In truth, they're an excuse, and an attempt to keep things to normallacy. She's not hungry enough to care one way or another about the things, and it gave her an excuse to make certain that the boy had at least one meal in him today - not knowing his circumstances.

"You seem to have confused my activity with the New Mutants for my philosophy or concerns about mutants in general. I wish to disabuse you of that notion. My concern is not for them, per se. They will be what they are with or without me. My concern is that we, as mutants, have a very uncertain future, and a large part of that future will be mutants such as yourself. I believe the only way that we shall win this defacto war between non-mutants and mutants, is to create a climate of understanding. And with that, we need to recognize the responsibilities we've been given as mutants. Much as the ruling classes of old, with power comes the imperative to do better."

She pauses to let that sink in. "I wish to make certain that you have the training and the understanding to do better, young man. Not only as a healer, but as a mutant who mundanes will look to and be able to see the possibilities of what can be done for the greater good with our abilities. If you thought that little gathering of students was merely to corral the lot of you and distract you from running amok, or to create some little superhero group, then you fully misunderstood my agenda."

Elixir has posed:
Josh shakes his head. "I had no idea what your agenda was," he says. "I just knew what the others wanted out of the New Mutants and what the teachers seemed to be doing."

He takes another sip of his drink and puts down a few fries. "I still don't think I really know what you're trying to do. What do you mean 'do better'?"

Emma Frost has posed:
"Their agenda was not my agenda," Emma admits. "It was a very easy way to bbe able to assess those I wished to hand pick for further consideration. We all have an obligation to do better, young man, by virtue of who and what we are. However, not all of us were meant to be leaders. It's why those who can be have the greater obligation, and those of us who are in a position to facilitate that have a greater responsibility."

She sees it, that moment when he expresses enough interest that she knows she may have him. Or at least enough of him that he'll listen.

"Better? Much as you've already pointed out. We are in a unique position to help, and to offer our help to the world freely, and as an example. As you stated, the good you could do running about with the group was limited. Certainly you could do more on a larger scale, or perhaps merely a more directed scale. My point was that you weren't ready for that. That you needed the baby steps of understanding the dynamics of these things, and forging the relationships that will support you in the future. It is not enough to do good, young man. We must do better. Any clearer?"

Elixir has posed:
Josh drums the fingers of one hand on the table for a moment before he answers.

"Yes, some," he says, considering Emma. "That's a lot to see in someone who was on a bridge a month ago. What makes you think I could or would do better?" He gestures around himself. "The only thing 'better' about this is it's at least mine and I'm in charge. I just wanna be a doctor."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma shrugs. "Understanding people and seeing possibilities is one of my talents. I'll admit, I miscalculated a few things in that last conversation. It happens." The words are given begrudgingly. "As to what I saw? I saw a young man passionate about the possibilities of what he could do with his powers, not immersed in being the grand and visible hero. I saw a man standing up for his convictions against a formidable force, and not waver, nor collapse."

"In short, Josh, I saw the potential of what it is going to mean for Mutants to rise above the fear that shackles us, and to not allow it to make us into what the mundane fear about us. We can not become those monsters. I have faith that despite your flaws and failings that you understand that, and can become a living example of that."

Elixir has posed:
Josh sits back and crosses his arms.

"I'm still getting over that you came all this way..." he says. "What is it I'm supposed to do, to do better? I mean, I barely know what I'm doing at all. Except that for once, I'm making my own mistakes, and not someone else's."

Emma Frost has posed:
"Pfffft," Emma retorts, discarding the notion that she's done anything out of the ordinary. "Hardly a concern. As to what you are supposed to be doing? Well, part of it you seem to have tackled well enough. You're applying yourself with goals and activities that will expand your horizons. However, I also need you to attend to matters mutant. Your abilities will benefit a course of training. What that looks like really depends upon you, but if you truly wish to be that person you claimed you wished to be when you stood toe to toe with me, then it's a matter that can't be neglected."

She pauses a moment, then asks in a strangely gentle manner, "What was it that happened? That caused you to send that last message?" Understanding that it had taken something to bring him to the point of eating crow.

Elixir has posed:
Josh purses his lips and looks away toward the darkened windows on the far wall.

"There's something wrong with Mr. Stark, something I never felt before. I mean, I healed people with bullets through their lungs, serious burns, and broken bones at the bank. And those guys that got trampled by the cyborgs that attacked me in Apple Park... My own broken back in that attack. Andrea's brain injury.... I mean, what can't I fix? So I was healing Mr. Stark; broken ribs, bruises... then there was something else, all over his body. I just... I don't control it, I just /heal/, I feel where things are wrong and then they just get fixed. And I was starting to heal whatever is wrong with him and for a second I thought it was gonna kill him. And I don't even know why," he says, with a bitter half-smile.

"And it all came into focus like that; standing there wondering if I'd just killed Iron Man with a touch, without even understanding how. Like, everything you said about not being ready and thinking I could do it myself... So naive, I might as well be one of those kids back at the school. I never thought I was better than any of them. But I thought I was farther along."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma listens and nods to the boy's words. "Ah. I wondered. I'd heard about Andrea." Who hadn't? "I had imagined that might have had something to do with it. Instead, it was something.. well, bigger might not be the word."

Emma settles back and contemplates this one.

"There are things, Josh, that are bigger than we are. Back on that bridge, I could have stopped you. In many ways, you were never in any danger from the moment I arrived. But you tell me, what would have happened if I'd merely made it impossible for you to jump. Or if I'd employed means to make you believe all was well in your life. Or planted the suggestion in your mind that all of this was what you wanted to do?"

She's hoping the process of coming to an understanding of his own answers to that might lead him to understand something about his own powers, and in particualr with regards to what happened with Tony Stark.

Elixir has posed:
Josh looks disturbed by the thought. "Well, I wouldn't have jumped... But it wouldn't be me. I'd just be, like a robot or something. I'd still be messed up, just wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Wouldn't get over it and grow, anyway."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emmma nods encouragingly. "And?" The woman seems to be waiting for him to follow that thought process along to a logical end, or at least an end approaching that. A place where she can engage the boy into understanding his encounter with Tony Stark, and, more importantly, himself.

Elixir has posed:
"And... I dunno," he says, shrugging unknowingly. "I'd just carry on doing the same thing, I guess. I wouldn't be here right now trying to figure out who I am and what I'm suppose to be doing."

Josh picks at his fries, thinking, and then shakes his head. His thoughts dwell on the idea of being controlled, revulsion, his parents, Pierce.

Emma Frost has posed:
"A fair beginning," Emma allows.

"More than that, Josh. It comes down to you not being yourself. I could have merely made you do my will, but what would that have left? It would have left a young man who always questioned that decision. You still would have had to confront those issues. And, had I done that, the others would not have had the experience of understanding themselves, and the fact of their mutantness. Their arguments, you see, were not for you alone, but for themselves. If they could argue to you sucessfully, it also meant that they had value."

Emma shrugs, and pushes her fries over to the boy as well, taking her drink and settling back in her seat.

"There is an adage that says just because you can do a thing does not mean that you should do the thing. There is a fine line between the two, and learning to differentiate one from the other is an important part of what we must learn as mutants. Your experience with Tony Stark is something of that same lesson. You feared you had killed him. Why? Because you used your abilities, and found that they might not have been the answer. I am not suggesting you should doubt yourself, I'm suggesting that you examine the reasons for what you do, and when you do it. Just because you can heal something does not mean that is the answer. Just as just because I can make another do my bidding merely with a thought does not mean I should."

Elixir has posed:
Josh reaches over for his drink, thinking on that. "It seemed like the kind of thing that would always be the right thing to do, at first. But yeah, I realized I'm gonna have to be..." he searches for the word. "Discerning. It's more complicated than I thought. It's gonna be a lot of work figuring this stuff out, isn't it."

Emma Frost has posed:
"Morality isn't a simple thing, Josh. You may think that it is a matter of merely right or wrong, but it is so much more than that. Just because you heal does not make you any less dangerous in your choices than I in mine. I might be able to stop a man in his tracks with my thoughts and bring him to his knees in pain, but it is no different than what you can do. All that is different is your regards to morality."

She considers the boy.

"There are all manner of things your healing can not fix. And all manner of reasons things are broken and bent, hurt and dying. Reasons why the dead should be left dead, even if you are able to reverse that. There are reasons the gods are both feared and worshipped. Do you not think they could not do the same? And there is a fine line between healing because it is necessary, and healing because it makes you feel good and powerful. When you do it for the second reason, you have become that monster."

"Don't imagine I do not understand the thoughts people have for ones such as I and how horrible it is that I would control a mind and bend it to my will. Healing is no different. Your will is applied just the same. There is no morality to the powers, only to the minds that weild them. Do you understand?"

Elixir has posed:
"Yeah, I'm hearing you," he replies and sets his drink down. "I get that, I just hadn't put much thought into it. It's the kind of thing that's gonna take me a while to get my head around. It wasn't really an issue when I was just... mundane. Now, I can bring people back who are almost dead. Believe me, I get that I've got the responsibility to use that... Never really looked at the flip side."

He considers for a bit. "So you think I need to find myself a mentor to help me figure this stuff out. Feels like what I really need is a medical ethics class," he says dryly.

Emma Frost has posed:
"Both, perhaps. Medical ethics do not embrace what it is to be a mutant, Josh. How would you explain to a mundane what you do? It's much the same thing, only in reverse. They can only explain ethics on the level of what they understand and are capable of. How do you decipher the morality of healing a wound that has ripped a fist sized hole in someone's head, when that is impossible within the bounds of modern science?"

She sighs.

"Understand that this analogy is poor, but you are very much suggesting that we ask a housecat to reflect upon what it is to be human. Or a human to lecture a god on being divine."

Elixir has posed:
Josh shakes his head.

"Yeah, I don't agree, and I don't look at it like that. The way you're talking is dangerous. That kind of thing is why people are afraid of mutants, believe me. Pierce talks like that, same kind of thinking he's different and knows better because he's got some special.... I dunno what. I don't think like that."

Emma Frost has posed:
"You don't have to agree, Josh. I'm not saying that mutants are gods in comparison. Perhaps it would be better to say it would be like trying to explain what it is like to be a man to me, without my being able to experience it. My abilities aside, there would be no way for me to fathom the unique problems of being a male. It doesn't mean I am less than or more than, only that while it is good we should seek to understand one another, that your abilities extend beyond mundane morality."

"You can literally do things that they will never be able to do. Your morality must be a deeper and more grounded thing. And it must come from an understanding of what it is to have the power to do those things."

Elixir has posed:
Josh just shakes his head again. Fear, irritation, mistrust, resistance, rejection.

"I... I /really/ don't want to get into it again with you," he says. "Look, Ms. Frost, like straight up, I sent you that email because you were right about me not being ready, for any of it. And I apologized because my behaviour was just rude. But you weren't right about being like me. We're not the same, and we're not gonna be. I don't think you really get how different we are."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma shakes her head and gives a sad little smile. "You'd be surprised how wrong you are, Josh. The difference between us is many years of experience. A culmination of mistakes and clawing my way to places where I could afford to support the things I believe in. I have done things I am not proud of in order to give people like yourself opportunities I did not have."

"You may find my morality repulsive, but you hardly know me. You know the woman who you've argued with. Who you've seen roaming the halls of Xavier's. Perhaps even a small amount of the woman who sat here and ate french fries. But you don't see me. Your judgement is as crass as anyone else's when it comes down to that."

She takes another swallow of her drink, and stands. "I don't wish you to become what I have had to be, Mr. Foley. I wish differently for you. There's a reason I am telling you these things. You are not mundane. You can not ignore the fact that you are what you are. You will be feared as a mutant until mutants are no longer misunderstood. I'm sorry that you only see the example of mutantkind in myself that others do."

He's treated to something of a smile. "The other still stands, without strings. I stand by my word. I wish better for you than I had, and you should not be denied it because of monetary concerns when I can make those obsolete. I shall make necessary arrangements."

Elixir has posed:
Josh sighs and purses his lips when she comments on his judgement, but in a vast improvement over their last conversation he keeps himself in check. "I'm not sure what I see in you, Ms. Frost. I don't get you at all," he admits. "I don't think we get each other. But thanks. For dinner, for support at the school, your offer. You've been really generous. But I need to make my own way."

Emma Frost has posed:
Emma pauses at the door. "With luck, you won't ever have to understand me, Mr. Foley. As I said, I have become what I am so that you don't have to. I wish you luck in being better than I am. Do lock up after me."

And without further preamble, she takes her leave.