7429/The Cost

The Cost
Date of Scene:	07 May 2019
Location:	New York City
Synopsis:	With a little help of the House of Mystery, John shows up at Kate's door for comfort and a friendly ear.
Cast of Characters:	Constantine, Hawkeye (Bishop)

---

Constantine has posed:
John was a wreck after the battle with that demon. By rights, he should have been looking for /anything/ matching the thing they saw in the Watchtower in the House's many books, but he couldn't. What was the bloody point? He was out of his depth, and out matched, he was better off crawling into a bottle and staying there until the big bad alien gods went away.

If they went away.

Still the bottle was a good idea and John drained one, then the next, then he went looking for more, staggering through the door to his pantry, only to find himself in a familiar hallway instead. Kate's place.

He'd thought about looking for her, but hadn't made up his mind, now though it seemed the House had made it for him, and having been thrown this far, he goes the rest of the way on his own, padding barefoot to her door and knocking loud enough to bug her neighbours.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate's new neighbours hadn't formally met her yet - okay, she hadn't formally moved in yet - but she had a key, and other than nodding hello to a couple in the hallways and introducing herself with a 'hi I'm Kate - the new Hawkeye' making a joke of it, she was still in that newlywed phase of the whole thing. A whole place to herself in a a building where by all accounts her neighbours were either used to this, or didn't care. Or some combination of the two inbetween.

She'd even been down to Gino's next door and said hello. Told Gino she'd moved in (okay, once her stuff was moved over) and that he'd be seeing more of her, and Lucky, and come back, settling herself on what had been Clint's old furniture. Which was kind of weird, but it worked?

She'd jsut settled into trying to picture her things here, and actually having more than the sparsest of furniture when John's banging on the door interupts her.

"Hold your horses, I'm not the old Hawkeye. Sheesh. He moved out ages ago, I'm the new one.."

Unlocking the door and flinging it upon to find John there. Leaving her perplexed.

"John?"

Constantine has posed:
John almost walked away in the span it took for Kate to get to the door. //She doesn't want to see you mate// he told himself. //You know what you are, Killer// that last came in his father's voice. //Your no good//

Though he hasn't turned away by the time she opens the door, John looks like hell warmed over, pale and worn through, and smells like a distillery more than an ashtray.

"Hey," he says with gust of alcholic vapours. "Just was in the neighbourhood, thought I'd drop by," he says leaning in the doorway.

He re-thinks that and shakes his head. "What I mean is I need a place to stay for the night. If you want to let me in," he doesn't sound sure that she will. Or that he would in her position.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate is looking particularly young and vulnerable - likely won't help John's state of mind, or perhaps it's because of John's state of mind, and it's only by virtue of an unexpected cancellation (turns out Mr. and Mrs. 'Smith's' son had a playoff game) that she's not working tonight, and yesterday's hangover has flown.

She ushers him in, still looking bewildered and bemused he's shown up at her door - and /this/ door at that... unless, her mind supplies, that was his subconscious hoping she wouldn't be here so he could legitimately flee and say he'd tried...

"Uh, sure, you can can co - You can stay." She had to think about that a moment. He might have been into his cups before making it here, but she hasn't been drinking. It might answer a few things for her.

Then again, the man looked like death warmed over. He might not need a lover, but he sure needed a friend, and she hoped she could be that regardless.

"I have pizza?"

Constantine has posed:
Just the sight of Kate, looking as young and vulnerable as she did, it was enough to almost make him turn away again.

//What are you doing Johnnie-boy, you're only going to get her dead//

He rubs his temple, sort of drifting for a moment before he registers that she said yes. He looks up, putting on a smile,"Uh, thanks, luv," he says slipping inside and looking around. "Nice new digs," he remarks. "Clint really pay your rent on it for a couple of months?" he asks as much to make conversation as anything. He reaches for his smokes before he stops himself, as the tattered shreds of his manners protest, so he asks, "Mind if I smoke?"

As for pizza, he shakes his head, "Not right now, luv. Wouldn't want to make you clean it up off your new floor."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate locks the door behind him. It's a not too bd neighbourhood and all, but still.

"Yeah, still kinda caught up in that. Will give me enough to buy a few things to make the place nicer, and with my old furniture and his.." She pauses, head tilted to one side. "Beer?" Knowing full well he likely doesn't need it as much as he /needs/ it.

She doesn't wait for an answer, padding to the fridge to get him one. Or her another one depending on if he takes hers by the time she gets back. "Go ahead. Smoke 'em if you have 'em."

When she makes it back to the livingroom she wonders, "You okay? I mean, this is weird. You don't call on me, and the whole wouldn't want to make me have to clean up my floor? What's up?"

She cracks the beer open and offers it to him.

Constantine has posed:
"Sure," John says of the beer. "Or stronger if you've got it," he adds as he lights up and wanders about her place poking about until he reaches the couch and flops down, using a mug that looks like it'd been there since the other Hawkeye moved out to use as an ashtray.

As for what's wrong, John, sits and considers that question a bit before he answers, simply and with the most surface answer he can muster.

"Rough job tonight," he says. "Had to touch magics better left alone, something like touching the third rail, spiritually speaking. Fried me but good. an' that sort of thing always leaves me out of sorts."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
"Sorry, unless Clint left something behind, beer it is. And a limited supply of that, though Gino's next door is open late and they sell. Could check the closet?" She shrugs. She has no clue where Clint might have squirrelled away booze. If he even did.

Unless he stops her, or looks like he'll lose his lunch if she continues, Kate finishes eating her pizza. "So.. these magics," she asks around a mouthful of pizza. "Demon stuff? I mean, that's what you're always going on about, right? When you say you deal with things I don't want to know about?" She'd figured that out, she thought, after going over all the permutations of warlock and exorcism she could come up with.. and a few she looked up. What? She's a P.I. Sometimes she even got paid for that crap.

Constantine has posed:
John, nods, "Beer'll be fine,"he says, he didn't know where Gino's was from here, but he didn't fancy stumbling there barefoot, or sparing Kate's company for her to do it for him.

There's no complaint about the pizza besides turning away a little at first, every bit of it seemed so mortal and disgusting, just like everything else did right now.

"Nah. Demon magic, demon magic would be better," he says taking a sip of his beer, making a face, and making himself drink more, judgement of those judgy bastards he borrowed power from be damn. "Went with magics from the other side, those wankers," he says before tilting his head back to yell at the heavens, "AND THEY WON'T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE!" there was no answers from the heavens, no rebuke and no apology, just silence.

"Sorry, this stuff it leaves a shadow, like staring at the sun."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
"Oh," Kate says in understanding, then has to shake her head, because nope, she's not sure what the problem is. "Isn't it all magic?"

Kate's grasp on the Divine is pretty tenuous.

"What do you mean they won't leave well enough alone? I don't follow John. You're - okay, I guess you don't have to tell me. Maybe that's not what you came here for, but I can listen if you want. Heck, can try to not ask questions if it helps."

She's pretty sure she'll still ask questions, she is a curious sort; she'd like to listen quietly, though, and be support. Maybe she'll manage somewhere in the midle.

Constantine has posed:
John eyes Kate. "No, it's not all magic, the costs are different, demon magic, you pay with your soul, in bits and pieces, or in my case hours and seconds, until the Big Man can come get me," he rubs at his forehead with his thumb. "Divine magic, the cost is subtler..." he struggles to find a way to describe it. "They point out your flaws with a bloody spot light, and it doesn't go away, you cast the magic, you feel the divine leave you, but the spotlight remains fixed on every bloody flaw, every mistake, the things that keep you up at night, and it keeps on doing it."

John looks up then, "Not making much sense am I?" he asks. "Not sure what I want here Katie, except, I know I don't want /that/," he says. "Not tonight, just want an ear I guess. A friend."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate looks thoughtful, regarding him. "Not a whole lot of sense. But I guess maybe it sounds a bit like how my father looks at me. I mean, he loves me, I know that. Just he can't make sense of my life. I don't make sense to him. I know every day when I have to weight things like.. if I do this can I pay my rent - and people maybe don't get that. How does a rich girl not have money to pay her rent."

Kate shrugs.

"Comes with a cost. Money isn't mine till I'm older, and as long as I'm Hawkeye, I have to go begging. Every cheque comes with that same look. He doesn't even have to say the speech anymore. I know it in that look."

Kate pauses, and ventures, "Kinda like that?"

Constantine has posed:
John nods, emphatically, "Yeah, that's about it, taking a loan out from the old man, but in this case he and all the rest of the family are infallibly good, and they weigh you against that, so, no matter what you bloody do, the bastards are going to be disapointed, and as much as you try not to care, you can't help it, because they're so bloody good, you /want/ them to like you, /want/ them to be proud of you. But they won't be, they can't."

Not of someone like him.

"Anyhow, gave the bastard I was up against a good whollup though, so, guess that makes it all worthwhile."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate still looks a lot perplexed. "They told you this? You know, that's pretty crappy of them - I'm not sure that's a statement on you. I mean, who goes and judges people for trying to do good. Isn't that what their whole Jesus thing was?" Kate is pretty sure it is, but then again, Kate's also pretty sure her list of professions wasn't on the top ten guaranteed to get you into heaven either.

"Sorry. You probably didn't want me trying to say it's okay, or they're the bastards if they want to be like that. Religion really wasn't my thing." Or magic, but hey, she'd been forced to at least sorta admit it existed, right?

Kate puts her half-eaten piece of pizza back in the box and scoots over to sit right next to the man. "So, how about you tell me the best way to help? And you smacked a guy good, huh? Bet that was satisfying, even if how you had to do it sucked. Did I ever tell you about my fantasies of shooting this archer I once met? No - not Clint, another one, though I sometimes think about shooting Clint, too, for being an idiot. Probably wouldn't, though. I mean, deep down he's just an idiot, not deliberately mean. Wouldn't be as satisfying as the jerks I pick off in alleyways."

Constantine has posed:
"Not in words, but yeah, they made their judgement clear," he says still able to feel them, those judging eyes burning right through him down to his soul. "Doesn't always work as their books say it does, I'm damned, that's all that matters, they can't see past it, not really," he explains before taking a healthy swallow of beer before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand..

"'s fine," he says of her trying to make it all okay. "Not sure what I need right now, so can't really blame you for not knowin' either, just good to talk to someone, y'know?" he says reaching out for her hand. "Connection." It wasn't a tender grip, but one of a desperate man clinging to the last thing that'll keep him from drowning.

"n yeah got him good I think, my apprentice did too, he's still out there, still trying to do what he's doing but we drove him back, which means he can be beat," he says though he doesn't sound excited at the prospect. "Yeah? Who's this archer you want to be shooting then?" he asks happy for the distraction.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
"Well, I'm not sure I buy the damned thing. How can someone be damned before their life is over? That seems pretty crappy to me." She shakes her head. "I mean.. JESUS." She says the word not as a swear, but as a blazingly obvious answer to this whole you're going to hell thing. Wasn't that what they preached?

Kate really didn't get the whole organized religion thing.

When he grabs her hand like that, so fiercely, she looks startled a moment before grabbing back - not just with that hand, but both, her free hand closing over their two and anchoring them to the head and now. Her hand within his pressing hard and harder, nails biting into his flesh, not as a means to hurt, but as one to let him know he was real, and he was here. That so was she.

"Your apprentice? The one you were going to let find us?" Kate's cheeks pinken faintly. "His name doesn't matter so much. Probably gives him too much credit. But he talked over me like I didn't exist. Asked Daredevil if his archer needed help with her kit. I was right /there/. Ugh. Chauvenist pig. I wanted to show him exactly what I had in my kit, let me tell you."

She gets he's letting her be a distraction.

Constantine has posed:
"Somethings are stain your soul bad enough that no amount of good will wash it out," John says before draining his beer, and reaching for another cigarette. "As for the big JC, mortal man's not supposed to be messing with magic, so, his little trip up the cross doesn't count when it comes to that sort of thing. Cost of doing dark magic."

The grip is felt and by his glance in her direction, appreciated.

"Yeah, that's her, hurled lightning at the bastard, didn't know she could do that," he says sounding a little bit impressed by that. "An' one of those? Heh. Wanker. Pretty clear you know what you're doing and don't need anyone speaking for you and I don't use a bloody bow, so not sure what his problem is besides worrying his little arrow not measuring up."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
"Oh," Kate says in a small, deflated voice. She hadn't thought of that, and not being an authority on magic, she really can't speak to it, either.

There's a snicker for his apprentice surprising him, "Uh.. John, you ever ask her what she can do? Or were you busy telling her to go be quiet in a corner, cause I like you and all, but you spend a lot of time in the bottom of a bottle and I can't see you actually enjoying having an apprentice. Especially if she's as young as you make her sound."

Rich coming from she who only /just/ turned 22.

"Total wanker," Kate agrees. "Probably doesn't even have a little arrow." She flushes and shakes her head at him. "You are such a bad influence."

Constantine has posed:
John shrugs, "It is what it is," he says of his fate. "Just got to enjoy the time I have and not worry about the rest." There was a lot to wrorry about though, not just his own suffering, or the demons he'd pissed off down there, but it wasn the innocents he couldn't save, doomed to hell with him, watching them suffer, that would be his real torment.

John thinks about it, "Not really," he says after a few seconds. "She and her little group of friends got foisted on me by one of my old mates, owed him a favour, really didn't ask too many questions then, jus' figured it was temporary."

That had been over a year ago.

Food for thought.

John offers a weak smile, "Glad ot hear it," he says of being a bad influence. "An' no arrow at all? No wonder he's so mad. An' I thought I got a bad deal goin' to Hell."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
"No arrow," Kate confirms mock-sadly. "Poor wee little non-man."

Her own joke amuses herself until she head tilts at him, "So how'd you get a bunch of kids dumped on you anyway. I mean, how do you owe favours to a guy who has a bunch of kids to dump on you? And maybe you might want to find out what they can do."

Constantine has posed:
John chuckles quietly. "Poor bastard."

"My mate's a Watcher," John explains. "They're basically mortals, some can throw a spell or two, gumball magic mostly, draw the right sigils, say the right words, throw the right amount of power into it and you get a result, but it's not fancy or particularly powerful. My mate though, he's a bit of an exception, he had real power, 'cept he had a bad experience growing up and stopped trying, and got into this Watcher business," he explains. "Anyhow one of the things the Watcher does is mind certain people with special powers," he says not having the energy of going into the lore around the Slayer. "Which meant my mate, Giles, had to make like a school librarian to meet his charges and guide them through what they were going through. Anyhow, fast forward three-four years, my mate needs to go back to the old country for a bit and calls me up to collect on a few favours he owes me and so I ended up taking his place. 's not so bad, they can mostly take care of themselves, but, Willow, my apprentice, she's got real power, so figured I need to give her proper attention before that all goes sideways."

As for finding out what they can do, "Yeah, thinking that might be an idea, but I figure besides Willow an' her friend, most of them are just there to lend a hand and get rescued once a week."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate nods and pretends like she follows most of that - which she doesn't. Mostly what she gets is Giles was some sort of de facto guardian for a bunch of kids with powers and he'd dumped them on John so that another grown up was watching over them.

"So, does that make you a Watcher too? And Willow, huh? Funny. Rowans are associated with magic. But, yeah, real power, huh?" She scratches the back of her neck. "You might want to take a little more interest in her."

She considers her own situation. The things she might have gotten up to if Clint hadn't taken her under his wing. Worse, all the bad habits and skills she wouldn't have if he hadn't seen that potential and nurtured it.

"So she and her friend, huh? Take it they're like a matched set? Her friend use magic too.. no, that makes no sense. You'd have mentioned that. So they're something else altogether. Who is helping them?"

Constantine has posed:
"What? Christ no," John says, his nose wrinkling at the very idea of him being a Watcher. "Nah, that lot are as boring as dirt. I am just filling in for my mate and that's it."

The notion he ought to pay more attention to Willow. gets a sighed, "I'm working on it," and he rubs his temples. "Still got enough of my own stuff on my plate."

And now that included digging himself out of this mental hole he'd dug for himself by touching on the divine.

"Something like that," John says. "The two of them are thick as thieves, the other one, the friend... she's something different, she's strong and fast but she's not a mutant or an alien, she's something of some chosen one, meant to hunt monsters and all that magical stuff most folks don't believe in," he says, maybe the Slayer was explainable after all. "The Watchers are supposed to train her and provide her with information about the things she's facing."

Not that he'd been doing too much of that.

"Her helpers? Just kids from their old school, plain vanilla mortals, without even a fancy quivver of arrows and training from an Avenger to their name."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate refrains from pointing out the obvious, that the stuff on his plate might be important, but the girl might be setting herself up for one of those damned futures if someone didn't take her firmly in hand. "Your friend," she opts for. "When's he coming back? You made it sound like he's been gone longer than he should be. Shouldn't someone be worried?"

Especially if the pair needed training and weren't getting it.

Their friends sound.. well, she could be one of them, other than her knack with a bow. Which was probably his point. Kate sobering some, wondering if he wasn't telling her subtlely, again, to back off while she still could.

And yet? He'd been the one to come knocking on her door.

Constantine has posed:
"Not sure," John says about Giles. "Get the odd call from him, and sent my mate Chaz to help him out, but, he and some of the other Watcher types are tangling with something big, he won't tell me what an' just says I'm best where I am."

John shrugs, to hide his own concern at that. Ripper, ahem, Giles was one of his oldest... contacts? Friend? He wasn't sure what to call it, and he hated to think of him getting in trouble without ol' Johnnie boy to pull him out of it.

"Anyhow, it's a bloody dirty business I'm in," he remarks. "Sometimes I wish I could take a vacation."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
"Lots of people I know are in dirty businesses. Mmmm-My.. wow. So awkward. Someone was telling me they were surprised I'd hooked up with you - not that we're hooked up. But they wondered why I didn't find myself a vigilante to be with. I told them I kinda thought you were like one. At the end of the day you do the same thing we do."

She shrugs.

"Sounds like your friend might be.. I'd be worried. Hope he's okay."]

Constantine has posed:
John pauses to consider that, "Sure, guess it's something close, 'cept I have a better outfit," he says. "Don't think I'd look good as you in spandex," with another of those faint smiles, at least he's making an effort at humour. "Well, we're hooking up anyhow," he says, "Anyhow did this someone suggest any of the tights crowd to hook up with?" he asks sounding more curious than jealous.

"If he's in trouble he can't get out of, nothing I can do about it if he doesn't want to tell me 'bout it," he says with a shrug. "Wanker's old enough to take care of himself, I've got enough people counting on me as it is." The dimsissiveness was a lie, but the statement was true enough, the burden of being a leader, a mentor, a good person, all of it weighed on him, and tonight it felt a thousand times heavier.

His breath comes more rapidly, and he finds himself suddenly standing up, the room felt too small, his clothing too warm. "Can we open a bloody window?" he asks suddenly. "It's getting too stuffy in here."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
"Nah," Kate says disappointed, pushing hair back from her face and behind an ear. "Okay, they suggested the anti-arrow, but I think they were just trying to get a rise out of me."

John's brushing off of things is noted, as is his sudden distress. The place doesn't feel hotter to her, but she can imagine it being a panic reaction. Or a deflection. Or her questions and his thoughts hitting way too close to home.

"Sure, we can open a window," Kate says hoping the darn things actually open. "You going to be okay?" She slips from him, but not without a firm squeeze to his hand first, going to check if the windows do, indeed, open.

Constantine has posed:
There a little snort, "Guessin' it worked then," he says of getting a rise out of her.

John does return the squeeze though, and murmurs. "Thanks." On his feet, he paces as Kate checks the windows, it seems they open, both of them opening out to the fire escape and the beyond that to the street below.

John for his part adds toying with his lighter to his pacing, clicking it open and then closed and then opening it again. "Sorry to be a bother Katie, didn't know where else to go."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
The spring breezes are lovely as they pour into the room, and while she hadn't been hot, she still appreciated how they tempered the air in.. she guessed it was her apartment now - and made things more pleasant.

Regarding John, she asks, head tilting as she does so, "Why do you think you're a bother, John?" Giving a soft sigh of frustration, she advances on him, a hand closing over the lighter. "If you need a smoke, light up. Okay? And talk to me, John. I thought we were way past this."

Constantine has posed:
The air and the sounds of the city outside make the appartment seem bigger, at least to John, and he slows his pacing to breathe deeply.

Though that frustrated sigh sets him to pacing until she crosses to him and puts her hands on his lighter to stop him fiddling with it. "Past what?" he asks. "This is how I deal with things, luv. I's what I do. As for talkin' I've said all I've got," he rubs his temple, feeling a stress headache tightening along his forehead. "Can we jus' lay down for a bit, don't think I have much more talkin' in me tonight."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate's answer is a broken smile, a shake of head, and leading John by that lighter holding hand into what used to be Clint's bedroom. "No comment about the bedsheets. He's cute, but his taste is bad."

As are the TMNT sheets, pillow cases as all.

She lets him decide how they're doing this, opening the window in this room as well while she waits. When she's done, preparing for bed like she would at home, stripping down to sports bra and undies, and crawling between the sheets. Hopefully he likes the side she leaves him.

Constantine has posed:
John follows without any questions, a look of gratitude flashing across his face for a moment before she leads the way.

In the room, he can't help but snort at the bed sheets. "Fire isn't a comment is it?" he asks, with a shake of his head. Though that's the only comment he makes before he sheds his coat and strips down to his boxers before climbing into bed. He lies on his back at first, staring at the ceiling, before he turns on his side to face her, an invitation to snuggle closer.

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
Kate hushes his sarcasm with a kiss, drifting away immediately to tend to those other things.

In bed, once he's settled and found how he needs to be, she moves closer, taking up space with him, body curled into his. "Figured this might be easier than all the stupid fumbling around figuring out if we were or weren't something. No strings, John. Just comfort."

She gives a little shrug, and lays her head on his chest. "I'm sorry," she tells him, apologizing for nameless things.

Constantine has posed:
The kiss is more than sufficent to shut John up and he's soon in bed beside her, arms wrapping around Kate as she closes the distance. He kisses her forehead, and where there might have been sly comments about being overdressed another night, he instead offers a genuine, "Thanks, luv," he says. "I appreciate it."

The apology is taken as it is given and he squeezes her a little tighter for it. "Thanks for that too," he says. "You're better than I deserve."

Hawkeye (Bishop) has posed:
When he thanks her for her apology, Kate lets it go. She'd meant only that she was sorry his life had gone the way it did, and he'd been makde to pay such a price. Or that this evening had brought him to such despair and distress. But it's enough that he seems calm and willing to allow himself to be absorbed into her warmth and touch and seek solace there. Finding his peace.