10639/H-J Day in Kingston Square

H-J Day in Kingston Square
Date of Scene:	04 January 2020
Location:	West Chelsea Hill, Old Gotham
Synopsis:	Harley and Mistah J go house hunting in Gotham
Cast of Characters:	Joker, Harley Quinn

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Joker has posed:
The Joker's former lair had to be abandoned. The was the little matter of a dispute between two of his guests during a poker night that led to it becoming something of a crime scene, what with part of the roof collapsing in, and he had to get everything into storage. What a pain in the arse that was. He and his goons needed to raid several Home Depots getting cardboard boxes, packing tape, and renting a few trucks. At least he had the man power to do it in a hurry.

He and Harley were out looking for a new home, and were with a Real Estate Agent who catered to the shall we say, Criminally Insane, so the girl knew what she was getting in for. She was in her mid twenties, blonde hair in a pony tail, glasses, looking very much like how Harley had once appeared. They had seen a lair in an abandoned Aquarium, an Aviary, and an Applebees, but none of the A's had worked out for them. Next up was a place that was literally one block away from their old place. It was a large mansion atop a hill in West Chelsea Hill, Stately Jones Manor.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley was rather miffed that the lair went kaput, because it means less time spent on the important stuff, and more time spent trying to relocate. There's just so much hustle involved, and she wasn't too sure about that agent. Having been dragged a long for the last several places to look at, Harley was starting to lose her patience by the time they made their way to Sately Jones Manor, and making faces at the agent, she turned to Joker and grumbled, "why don't we just do that good ol' fashioned takeover of a theme park? Those are a hoot! Always!"

Joker has posed:
"But Harley, we have to hear her out. Joan went to a lot of work to find us a lair, and I'm sure the next one will be just right, isn't that right Joan?" He asked and began to laugh, softly at first, but growing in intensity and volume, becoming ominous towards the end, and downright scary at one point.

"Come on, let's see how it is. Besides, I heard that Agent X took over the last abandoned theme park in the Tri-State Area and he's not looking to sell. It wouldn't be right to just go over there, kick the iron gate in, and beat him to a bloody pulp until he signed on the dotted line... again," implying that he had done that before. "Besides, with that healing factor, it just takes all the fun out of good old fashioned torture session."

Heading inside, Joan began to show them around, and mentioned that there was a stable that would be perfect for animals, like Harley's baby hyenas. There was even an Olympic sized swimming pool in the back, and a home gymnasium, complete with gymnastics equipment. It seemed one of the recent owners had a daughter who was trying to make the national team.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley doesn't look like she has it in her to hear out Joan, her eyes shifting over to give Joan a good glare, before asking, "but can I shot her if I don't like what she says, puddin'?" The thought alone seems comforting to Harley, who has been quite bored with the whole affair.

"It would make for a great torture learning tool for kids though," Harley offers, clearly all in on taking Agent X and his mother for another theme park styled lair. She does brighten a bit at the stable, pool and gymnasium though. It's clearly a bit more luxurious than the usual fare.

"This looks a bit posh, are we going to start inviting Bruce Wayne for crumpets and tea?" Harley laughs loudly, and quite clearly sarcastically. Perhaps.

Joker has posed:
Joan seemed fairly unfazed. She knew that if the Joker, Harley, or his goons brought harm to her, there would be hell to pay in the underworld. She also happened to be a master of Krav Maga, small arms fire, and a few other related skills. She adjusted her glasses at Harley's request.

The Joker, strangely, seemed to be the rational one in this. "You can Harley, but she'll get to shoot back. Remember One-Eyed George? She's the one who shot him in the ass." Poor One-Eyed George. He was in a wheelchair now. Joan made no movement.

As they continued to tour the room, they came to the ballroom, and even though there was no music, Joker came up to Harley, bowing, "may I have this dance?" And would proceed to take her hand, dancing as if it were an elegant ball.

Harley Quinn has posed:
"You think I'm scared of that floozy?" Harley snapped at Joker, before turning to lean in real close to Joan, as she let out a loud, "HA!" But at least she moved out of the way right after, letting Joker hash it over with Joan, not like her voice would really matter. But at least she tried.

Her instinct when offered a dance is to point out she doesn't like Joan looking in on them like a perv, as well as add that there's no music currently playing. But then the gentlemanly offer of an extended hand and a bow has her squeeing jovially. "But of course Mistah J!" She squeals out, latching on to Joker's shoulder with one hand while taking his offered hand with her other. "This is so romantic, puddin', it's a shame Joan's here to ruin it with her horrid perfume."

Joker has posed:
"Harley, there isn't a thing in this world that could scare you, and trust me, I've tried." Joan did momentarily jump at the overly loud 'ha' by Harley. Fortunately, Joker managed to deflect things, making use of the room, and he made a concerted effort to lead Harley in such a way that she could not see Joan. He very loudly, echoing in the empty and cavernous room, said, "we'll take it, for a 50% discount, now that your horrid perfume has saturated the place," Joan gave a displeased look, and during another movement while spinning Harley, he used his free hand to mime, 'call me,' while wordlessly saying the same, suggesting he'd work it out with her. "Now, get lost, before we christen it in blood." Joan, understanding the situation, closed her briefcase, and began to leave. She knew the Joker was good for it. He'd bought two other properties through Joan. Even had a one night stand with her before meeting Harley.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Better if Joan wouldn't share such information with the wrong people, one could never tell what a crazy person like Harley might do. Or rather, it would be quite easy to tell.

For now, Harley is all into her ballroom dancing with the Joker, which by now has music. At least in her ears, an appropriate ballroom music, something that would fit quite well in the Baroque era.

"So now that we've got a new liar, we don't have to do boring stuff like look at places anymore, right? Should we go kill someone? Rob some place? Oooh, we can have a parade!"

Joker has posed:
The Joker continued to dance with Harley, but while she heard something from the Baroque era, he abruptly changed his style to something more like an Argentine tango. He was hearing 'Por una Cabeza' by Carlos Gardel in his head. "Harley, my dear, we can do anything that we want. This world, and everything in it, belongs to us. Except the stuff we don't want."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"That's pretty sad though, to think of all the rejected, dejected ugly things we toss to the curb," Harley mouths out in a momentary show of philanthropy, "maybe we can help'em be better? Or like, just kill them, so they don't have to suffer much, huh?" Harley offers, as the mismatch between Joker's dance and her imagination has the affect of changing radio channels too fast, as the music in her head becomes a bit jumbled. At least she's a good sport in matching the movement with Joker's, it is after all the man who leads in a dance, and Joker is such a man! He's hers too, so Joan better not have aspirations!

Joker has posed:
"It is, isn't it? We should put on a show, give 'em something to laugh about. Like I always say, if you're going to go out, do it with a smile." He led her, dancing with her, dipping her, and moving with the music in his head. If not for the fact that he had white skin, green hair, red lips, her being similar, and their outfits, it might almost seem romantic, to have them lost in each other in their new home. There would be a lot work, getting the place up to their standards, getting everything out of storage, and a lot of rooms to christen. Joan was no threat to Harley. Joker was a one woman man, and besides, there was no one who could hold a candle to the great Harley Quinn. Plus, she had so much dirt on him, knowing so many little secrets, that he could never leave her, even if he wanted to.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley is never going to be one to complain about getting time with her puddin'. She's utterly invested in the dance, no matter if a twirl here and a dip there may cause a vase or two, or any number of things to get knocked off or broken. She's looking at Joker with glassy eyes, likely seeing an altogether different background to their dance. Clouds ball room perhaps. She doesn't even bring up the need to discuss rooming quite yet, but there'll be plenty of time for that.

Joker has posed:
By now their dance had escaped the ball room, and ventured into the hallway. He had seen a floor plan earlier; Joan had sent copies over to him. He knew exactly where he was in the mansion, and he knew he was going to take it before he even got there. There were even some goons loading up stuff from storage, moving stuff in, not that they had seen any of them as of yet.

The Joker looked at Harley with the bright green eyes, and he was lost in the dream. He leaned in to kiss her, before sending her twirling towards the next room, and conveniently letting go. He could be like that. But he had sent her to the gymnasium, so it wasn't all bad. It had already been set up with all her gymnastics stuff. There was even a mural of her and the Joker on the ceiling. How the hell did he arrange that so quickly? The Joker worked in mysterious ways. There were also a few late Chrtistmas gifts in there, what looked like a brand new oversized mallet, a baseball bat, a tommy gun, a detonator, and a few that were too hard to determine, boxes of some kind. In all, there were 12, "Merry Christmas, Harley. Sure, Christmas is over, and your birthday's not for 9 months, but I had extra wrapping paper, so sue me. I hope you like it." One of them even had air holes.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Not quite being all there, Harley is in no state of mind to prepare for being let go, as she's twirled all the way into a gymnastics beam, stumbling down to the floor with a grimace. "Ow," she says rather than cries out, distracted by the mural she finds on the ceiling. "Puddin'..." she starts with a squee, "you already decided on this place, didn'cha?" She only now realizes she had no real say, but seeing how he prepared a lovely gym for her to train in, she really isn't about to start a fight now. "I didn't know we're still doing Christmas, I woulda gotten something...guess we'll have to make do with a kiss for now!"

Espying the gifts set out, she rushes for the one with the air holes, "what's this!? What is it puddin'!?"

Joker has posed:
The Joker winced when she twirled right into the gymnastics beam, and stumbled. "Careful there, kid, ya might hurt something." He would move over to her, not exactly rushing the way most boyfriends would, but with a calm and careful stroll. He even put his hands into his pockets as he looked down at her on the floor, just as she began to squee. He could tell her that he bought it months ago, that even Joan didn't know, in case anything happened to their old home, but why spoil the magic. "Oh, no, I actually set up murals like this in lots of places, just in case." Funny thing is, he was probably telling the truth, while doing it in a tone that suggested he was full of shit. He was a tough one to read, even after years of being with him.

"Baby, you're all I want for Christmas, or any other holiday. Well, maybe the bat's head on a spike for Halloween, but the rest of the time, it's all you baby." And he was totally lying there. She was a good enough psychologist to know that he had a strange love hate thing going on with the Bat that practically dominated every facet of his consciousness. He offered a hand to help her up, but by that point she was already going for the box with the air holes. Inside, there was a baby tiger. He got her an endangered species. He must really love her.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Rather than taking the hand she's offered, she rushes over to open that box that required airholes, and when she sees the baby tiger within she squees loudly and reaches to take it in her hands for some snuggling without any signs of fear. Sure, it's a baby, but they still bite, slash and hunt. Which makes for a perfect pet! Maybe she could carry it in a large enough purse like those floozies on Hollywood carry tiny dogs. "It's perfect, puddin'! Didja have to kill anyone to get it? Cuz he's totally worth it!"

Joker has posed:
"Alas, no, they surrendered, and ran away, so I shot them in the back. It's not right to pull a gun on someone and not get to fire." He made tsking sounds, as if he was still shaken up by it. "Honestly, where do they find these guys? Security guards just aren't what they used to be." Moving over, he crouched down to pet the baby tiger, "what'cha going to call it, hon?" He then whispered something into her ears.

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Awww, that's sad," Harley half listens while snuggling with her new baby tiger. Giggling at Joker's whispered words, she takes on a thoughtful expression, "do you think I'll get sued if I call him Tigger? Maybe stay in theme and call him Lenny?" Already she's taking to her tiger, planting a kiss that the tiger doesn't seem to much appreciate. It's okay, he'll soon learn how much Harley loves him.

Joker has posed:
The Joker rubs behind the ears of the Tiger, "I like the name Tigger, and if we get sued, we'll hire Saul Goodman. I like his ads." They were on the television, billboards, pretty much everywhere. Then he got up, "back in a jiffy," and a few moments later he returned with a steak from the fridge. There was a live baby tiger in that box. Even the Joker wasn't a monster. He made sure it had some food in there, air holes, water, and that there would be food for when it was released. He handed the steak to Harley, "here ya go. But you gotta walk her, him, ooh, I knew I should have checked."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Who wants the meat...?" Harley coos at the baby tiger after Joker brought the steak over, "I'll walk him and everything," she promises like a little girl who just got her first puppy. "Or maybe Costello?" She muses, "maybe one day we can feed him some Batman," she gleefully suggests.