10558/Guardians of the Unfortunate

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Guardians of the Unfortunate
Date of Scene: 28 December 2019
Location: Refugee spaceship Excelsior
Synopsis: The Guardians protect a ship of settlers from a pirate attack to the sound of awesome Terran tunes
Cast of Characters: Drax, Rocket Raccoon, Groot, Star-Lord

Guardians of the Galaxy.jpg

Drax has posed:
The Excelsior used to be a livestock ship capable of carrying large numbers of animals from one planet to another. The group of pilgrims who had bought the ship had another plan for the ship with the high end life supprot systems: use it to transport a large group of settlers to a new colony.

The lumbering craft limps through the stars, big and sturdy but none too fast. It's destination is a small, unpopulated planet in the Belt of Orion, advanced probes to the planet having already conducted the small amount of terraforming necessary for the settlers.

Outside of the bridge, Drax the Destroyer leans against a wall, using the tip of a knife to clean beneath his fingernails. "It is rude of them to make us wait out here," Drax complains. "We are hired guards. But the safety of the ship is our hands." The knife picks beneath his nails, dislodging something that Drax looks at curiously before tasting. The result is a small, approving shrug and then he continues with the grooming. Cuticle care is important.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
Rocket is sitting on a crate in the cargobay with a big rifle laid across his legs absently picking at the gaps in the weapon with the end of one nail. His weapons are all maticulously cleaned, of course, so nothing comes out from it.. but that doesn't stop him because he's an animal and that's just repetative motion.

"It's a ship full of stupid humies, who would want to mess with a ship full of stupid people? It's like shootin' a rocket at a special needs short bus..." Or so the saying goes, something something, short bus, something... who even knows where he picks this stuff up. "I think the question on my mind... and on everyone elses mind-" Groots, "-Is... is it too late to back out?"

Groot has posed:
     Groot was sitting on the floor, with a small bowl of some sort of fruit in front of him. A viney finger reaches out and cleaned at the dense wood that was his teeth. Oral hygiene for a flora colossus was pretty much done for him, it was something he had just seen Quill doing and started to mimic. "I am Groot." He comments, flicking a seed he pulled out of his maw towards Drax. He didn't seem to mind waiting, moreso than his compatriots, but he liked to go with the flow, so he nods in agreement with Rocket.

Drax has posed:
The seed bounces off Drax and falls to the floor, not seeming to disturb him from his grooming. "Other stupid humies?" Drax suggests as he finishes and sheaths his knife. He sniffs once and gives a small wrinkle of his nose. "Is that smell from you, small beast? Or did they fail to clean this cargo hold?" he asks of what has been remodeled to hold various equipment used by the settlers, but was obviously used to hold herds of beasts in the beast judging by some of the remnants of the original setup.

"I am not thinking of backing out. I am thinking of what I always do," Drax answers. "Thinking of Thanos with my thumbs in his eye sockets," Drax says. He looks down at his hands, opening both of them and flexing the fingers, then wiggling his thumbs a little as if he were imagining what he just said.

Just then an alarm starts blaring. After a few seconds, the captain comes over the intercom. "We have a ship that just jumped into the area and is moving to attach to our air lock. Guards make ready to repel boarders."

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
Rocket picks at the side of his jaw, scratching really, because it's been a long time out on some dusty old planet hiding form yandu cus they still aint got his credits back. Which means fleas. Which means everyone's getting bit in their sleep because Rocket knows he has fleas and is laying in their beds for the sole purpose of making everyone uncomfortable.

It's a love thing.

A big fangy grin at Drax, "You aint never gonna do that, you know that right? I mean ya might kill'em, but yer gonna forget ya wanted to put your thumbs in his eyesockets.. I know you, you'll forget." Pointing an accusatory claw at the big shirtless brute.

Right about the time the intercom informs them of the work whistle. "Alright, losers, let's go kick some spacer ass." Hoisting up his rifle, tugging at his groin to adjust his red and black flight suit, Rocket slides down off the crates and starts towards the hatch leading to the air lock. "Who wants to bet I can shoot the air lock seal and suck them all out into vacuum?"

Groot has posed:
     "I am Groot!" He points out, remembering the times Drax said he would cut off Thanos' head, and the time he would kill Thanos with what Quill called a whisk, and the time he said he would use a spoon to cup out Thanos' eyes.

  The announcement gets Groot's attention quite easily. The giant tree stands up and loosens up for a fight. "I am Groot." He says, holding up a credit chit. Apparently he will take that bet.

  Rocket's fleas...do not effect bark! Perfect symbiosis.

Drax has posed:
Drax itches at his backside, scratching at a lower quadrant of buttock through his pants. "The tree is correct. My mind is an impressive thing," Drax says as they leave the cargo hold and head through the ship's hallways towards the air lock. "Once something is within it, it is never forgotten," Drax claims as they follow the route they were shown to the airlock. The group comes to an intersection in the hallways. Drax looks to the left, and to the right, and then straight ahead. Then back the way they came.

Drax's expression is perplexed for just a brief moment before becoming stoic again. "You should go first," Drax says, motioning towards the intersection and then crossing his arms to wait.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
Rocket snicker-sneers at Groot's immitation of Drax, "Spot on, buddy... Remember the time he said he was gonna beat him to death with Gamora's arm? I don't evne know why we was usin' Gamora as a weapon." The neutron rifle settles up in his shoulder, stock braced against his surprisingly strong body for such a little guy.

"Oh fine, ya big lug.. I'll go first... jus cus ya don't know which way we're goin'." Grumbling, the Racoon of violence moves ahead towards the airlock, "Hey, ya know what we need?" Glancing back as the sounds of magnetically sealing clamps sound on the otherside of the thick plates beyond the hatch door signalling the impending arrival of hostiles... "Some battle tunes."

Groot has posed:
     Groot laughs at that one, he forgot about. He did think it was a funny team-up move. Though the logistics of such a move never really made sense to him, he never thought about Gamora's arm wouldn't be attached to her anymore.

  "I am Groot." He asks, following right behind Rocket, questioning who had the music player, and looking directly at Drax, in a totally accusatory way.

Drax has posed:
Drax keeps his nose up slightly as Rocket goes past. "The choice was between the green whore's arm, or Peter Quill's leg. I chose the more muscular limb to use as a club," Drax tells Rocket, and then he taps his head. "Never forgotten," he claims.

The green-skinned muscleoid waits for Rocket to pick a hallway and then falls into step behind him with Groot. "I am merely testing you," he claims to the Rodent of Unusual Size.

Drax's footfalls are heavy on the metal plates of the hallway, as if to make sure the enemy hear his approach. "Quill's music is suitable for the slaying of many enemies," Drax confirms. He pulls the Zune out of his back pocket, apparently having absconded it with from the Milano before Peter and Gamora took it to fly off to a second job. He turns it on and looks at it, choosing something called "Rocket's Battle Music". The external speakers built added to it during their last stop on Aldebara begin blaring music.

Up ahead, the airlock door has already swung open, and there is a clank of metal on metal as some form of humanoid-like robots begin marching out of it, blasters in hand.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
"Oh, hey, strong work Drax." Rocket actually sounds chipper about it, hoisting his rifle up to lay backwards across his shoulder with the grip held in one clawed right hand. The sounds of the boarders cutting through the locks is audible, dangerously close to fight time, and Rocket is thumbing over the Zunes touch screen through the selections he's programmed for his particular playlist.

"Alright, losers..." Pushing play, music sliced into the ships intercom system.


The hatch snaps as the cutting torch finally melts the metal lock and rolls backwards along the access. "Wrong ship." Hoisting his big battle rifle up, "We aint buyin' what yer sellin'..."

The green faced boarders eyes go wide seeing the trio, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

"We're the guardians of the Unfortunate."


Groot has posed:
     "I AM GROOOOT!" The chorus of Whitney Houston has Groot in a groove. The Flora Colossus reaches a hand toward the closest boarder, vines growing at an incredible rate as he grabs the leg.

  Sufficiently ensnared, the goon adjacent to his captive is swiped at with his own buddy.

Drax has posed:
As the strands of music rise and to fill the hallway, Drax lifts his bare hands into the air on either side of him, muscles flexing. "The sounds of Terran battlesong!" he cries, and then screams as he charges forward into the crowd of boarders. They stand three wide in the hall, except where Groot has already started to take them down.

Drax charges straight up the middle, knocking down four beneath him before his momentum is broken by the sheer mass of bodies. Some of the other boarders jump on top of him and start waling on him with fists and rifle butts, while others turn their attention towards Rocket and Groot.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
"Wait, no! I wanna shoot the air lock clamp!" Rocket shouts upsettedly as Drax rushes head long into the throng. His attempts to mass murder borders thwarted, he instead favors just one at a timing them! Putting sizable holes in unfortunates trying to dog pile ontop of his green skinned companion.

"You guys are gonna regret gettin' ontop of him! He's a biter! I seen him snag off a fellas ear over a card game once... he thought it was part of the game, but that don't change nothin'!" Blam blam, cirlcing behind Groot to use the massive colossal tree as a shield against return fire that is largely ineffective against his superior speed and agility!

Groot has posed:
     Groot's couple of baddies were cast aside with the quickness. The sounds of energy bolts colliding with his bark is a little harrowing, but Groot shrugs these bolts off with ease, so far.

  Of course, Groot is more than happy to shield Rocket from bolts! Groot keeps moving forward, making sure to give these folks the heavy lumber. The next feller is punched with a mighty log of a fist, knocking down two behind him!

Drax has posed:
There are some sounds of screaming from the pile of bodies. Some of them probably come from Rocket picking off attackers, though some of them are definitely another layer deeper. Men on each side of the pile fire back, bolts of energy hitting Groot, or beside him as they shoot at Rocket only to have him dart to the other side and evade their fire.

The pile of bodies suddenly moves and those on top go flying as Drax throws them off of him and rises up. "AH HAH HAH HAH!! AH HAH HAH!!" he cries out. "I WANT TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY!" he picks up an unconscious man by the legs, twirling him around and throwing him into other boarders, knocking them over. Drax then leaps on them and starts pounding on them with one fist after another. One of the boarders still on his feet takes aim at Drax's head.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
Rocket hits his jet pack controls and hovers up above the pile of bodies gone flying from Drax now dived back into the mix, "I want to feel the feet of some body!" Because Rocket doesn't actually know the words to the song. He never knows the words to the song. "What is terran facination with feet anyways?" BLAM another border is put down with a sizzling hole in their chest, another grabs hold to one of the racoons clawed feet and gets kicked away for a blaster to paint the wall with a chunk of brain.

Groot has posed:
     Groot's arms hold two boarders, knocking them together like a cartoon.

  The tree holds up the two concussed souls as he sings along. "I am Grooot! I am Groot!" He laughs, tossing the two boarders in his hands like empty soda cans, next to the scattered bodies Drax pulled a Marilyn Monroe on.

Drax has posed:
Drax finally rises back to his feet, seeing the boarders are either all down, or the smart ones already retreated into the airlock, sealing it and rushing for their ship to cast off.

"A fine battle!" Drax cries out, lifting his fists in victory. He steps on the chest of one of the wounded as he walks past, causing the man to cry out. "We should ask for a bonus," he says as he rejoins his compatriots. Drax clasps Groot firmly on the shoulder, congratulating him on his battle prowess. "By what name is the crooner of the battle song known?" he asks Rocket.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
Rocket hovers there on his jets, but ultimately settles on Groot's massive shoulders. Rifle slung in a little hammock of twisted roots on his companions back, "Uhhh..." Fishing the zune out to look at the name with squinty, beady, black eyes. "Whitney Texa- no, Whiney Houseton. I don't know, I don't read basic so good." So he holds it down to... Groot. Who clearly reads better than him.

Groot has posed:
     Groot settles Rocket's rifle on his shoulders, easily accessible to the furry fury.

  "I am Groot." He says, agreeing with Drax on the great battle. When the Zune is held up to his face, the brown eyes can be seen reading the display. "I...am...Groot." He reads, looking to Drax and Rocket, confirming the name, and adding in the album!

Drax has posed:
Drax runs a hand over his bald pate and one corner of his lips lifts up in a crooked smile. "Yes. Amorie Handspeth. We shall have to play more of her battle hymns in the future," he agrees with Groot, his eyes glazing with the thought of battles to come. Drax's greatest love of all.

The intercom buzzes and the captain comes over. "The pirate ship is moving away. I think they are arming their weapons though!" A communications screen next to the airlock comes to life, the captain showing the external sensors view of the pirate ship, flying away from the settler's transport and then turning back around as if to make an attack run.

Star-Lord has posed:
Really many things can be said about Star-Lords failings.



Morally Challenged

A bit of a space whore, don't tell Gamora.

Despite everything it would be hard to deny the fact that Peter Quill knows how to make an entrance.

The viewer screen shows the Pirate craft settled into the attack run. Weapons prepped. Certain Doom.

Then just a space explosion and the Milano drops into view having come in behind and above it. The ship is swiftly positioned to dock, it is honestly a very aggressive dockiing manuaver.

Star-Lord is the first one through when the airlock pops shouting "Who took my Zune!"

Right... he has trouble doing the job without he music, says he needs it for planning and plotting.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
The zune, in Rocket's hand...

"Gamora." Said matter of factly, juggling the music device from one hand to the other, "Quick, someone slip this in Gamora's things once we're b- dammit, I forgot to close the comms link..." Pause.. sliding, very slyly, the zune into Groot's back cavity, "Hey Quill, how ya doin' buddy? Glad ya showed up..." Usual I did something wrong so Imma win the Captain over with pleasantries voice. Standard fare.

Groot has posed:
     Groot's knothole is a great place to store things, such as zunes, acorns, spare energy clips.

  The giant tree waves over to the Milano and at Star-Lord, like nothing ever happened. Yup, he's covering for Rocket, the bromance is strong!

  "I am Groot!" He exclaims to Peter, holding up a credit chit he won off of Rocket.

Drax has posed:
Drax watches on the view screen as the pirate craft is about to make it's run on the refugee ship when the Milano blows it out of space. Or maybe into space, since everywhere is space it can't really be blown out of it.

Wherever the parts end up, Drax raises both fists into the air. "We are victorious again! The songs of our deeds shall be sung for generations when the settlers found their new colony of Draxonia!" he proclaims.

"Peter Quill, your arrival is most fortuitous. Come aboard ship and the settlers shall throw us a great feast befitting our victory," Drax sends to the Milano.

"We will? I mean... uh, sure, we will. You all did great," the captain of the Excelsior adds over the comms.

Star-Lord has posed:
"Gamora does not have it you pint sized a-hole!" Peter pivots pointing back towards the Milano.

"Gamora is really... mad about the Zune and ..." which is in no way reality. Gamora is likely pissed Peter made them turn around and catch up with the colony ship just to get his stupid music player.

Star-Lord switches to comms ~We have the other Job We Can't Stay For a Feast.~ but he doesn't want the Captain to know that not all the Guardians are on the job, they paid for the full Guardians not half the Guardians. Hell the Excelsior probably thinks the Milano has been ghosting along after them helping protect the whole time. It blew away the Pirate craft right.

"Nice one Groot." taking the time to acknowledge that Groot won a bet against Rocket.

Groot has posed:
     "I am Groot." A little dejected at the rejected feast. Since Quill won't let Rocket out of his sight, Groot takes this opportunity to get aboard the Milano and pull the Zune out of some random place, in a box, on a shelf in some random area. "I am Groot." He comments, wondering if they truly looked everywhere.

  Once enough time has elapsed, he returns, handing Quill the box that encased the zune.

  "I am Groot."

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
"She has it, I seen her take it..." Did he forget that he just confessed? Probably not, Rocket is a pretty intelligent sentient, so it must be he don't think the others are! "Aw man, they said there'd be crab-apples pie..." Fangy frown, picking at little bits of Groot's bark to pick at his own teeth, "Ya know how I like crab-apple pie, Quill.. ya sure we can't stick around? They're really happy how we killed all them pirates who was gonna do unspeakable things to'em, if we hadn't been here... ya know, cus we got payin' money and what not... on account of I picked the job."

Rocket watches Groot hand ove rthe zune and makes a supremely surprised face ! "How'd that get there?! Gamora must'a planted it... she's a trickster... well good, I'm glad that whole business with the zune is settled."

"Crab-apple pie?" Thumbing over his shoulder, half turning.

Drax has posed:
Drax helps some of the Excelsior's crew take away the survivors of the attack. Mostly by picking them up and heaving them down the hallway in the direction of the room they plan to turn into a brig.

He dusts his hands and then moves onto the Milano with the others. "The songs of Amorie Handspeth carried us forward to victory," Drax says, resting a big hand on Quill's shoulder. Unfortunately it's still bloody from pounding into a number of the attackers. Drax makes up for this giving the shoulder a few pats before removing his hand.

Star-Lord has posed:
Quill is distracted during the Raccoon's antics which are just covering for Groot mostly by the hearty smacks on the shoulder with the bloody hand. "Who?" which is a change really, because usually it is people saying Who to Star-Lord or to the Guardians of the Galaxy, not Quill in return.

Then again it is Drax.

"That... can't be right." he finally notes in time for Groot to come back out now with a box from the ship "No ... no damn way..." he snags it from Groot. "Son of a bitch...."

Then something clicks, is it the fact Drax said songs carried them to victory or that Rocket copped to it right away earlier. Hard to say.

"No way... good one though Groot... good one." and he points at the Raccoon. "Crab apple Pie... you are such a dick Rocket. No... I am going to go back on the ship... give the player to Gamora... and fall back in to guard in case other Pirate Ships come to see what happened. Got to be on guard. Diligent. Make sure these fine upstanding colonists get what They Paid For."

The look Quill gives reads, do not fuck up one of the two jobs just because you picked this one.

Groot has posed:
     Groot's greenery started to flush as it seems his plan was gonna work, but Drax had to mention the songs of Amorie Handspeth. That was about the time the leaves had shed and fluttered to the ground. "I am Groot." He says, walking sullenly back to the Excelsior, like Bill Bixby hitchhiking to get to another town.

  Damn shame about the crab apple pie.

Rocket Raccoon has posed:
"They got what they paid for..." Rocket narrows his eyes at Quill, "Did you even listen to the words what I had just said? They're gonna hold a massive feast in our honor... mostly mine, cus Drax scares'em.. and because Groot is gonna provide the crab-apples..." Seated up atop his colossal buddy, "Aw well, screw't, I guess I could jus' pick up one of them pre-packaged deals on Knowhere... ya know, where we /should be headed cus we aint paid Yandu back../." Glancing around, "I mean we done what we was gettin' paid for right? Save'em, all that stuff? It's a small, mostly unpreceptiable, ratio that the pirate'll come back?"

Weren't they out there charging their guns? Did Quill kill them before docking?

Gosh, Rocket hopes so.

Drax has posed:
Drax looks around the Milano, making sure it sustained no battle damage in the fight, one-sided though it was. "They are very wise to be scared of me," Drax confirms with a quiet, satisfied nod. He looks at the Milano's scanners and doesn't see any signs of other ships at least close by.

"I shall go and clean up first," he announces. Drax turns to walk towards the exit to the cockpit, but pauses besides Peter. Drax looks him over. "You should clean yourself as well. You have something," he says, making a motion towards Peter's shoulder, then continues off, shaking his head about Star-Lord's lack of hygiene.

Star-Lord has posed:
Peter inhales very slowly and then exhales. "Have a good feast. Good job guys."

Yeah they actually did do a good job, even if the whole ship might have blown them up if they hadn't stolen the Zune and made Peter come do the job those poor colonists actually paid for.

Damn complicated.

He turns with the prize in hand and heads back to the ship. "Gamora got it... do not punch me!"

Then just the hisss of the airlock slamming shut as the Milano starts to pull away.