15714/Wading Wings or Tabby Things

From United Heroes MUSH
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Wading Wings or Tabby Things
Date of Scene: 17 October 2023
Location: Queens Center Mall, Jackson Heights
Synopsis: The first rule of Undergarment Shopping is that you talk about Underground Cage Fighting.
Cast of Characters: Deadpool, Colleen Wing, Boom-Boom

Deadpool has posed:
It was a little early for Halloween, but it was firmly in that period of time where you could get away walking around in a costume, and not get blank stares, or worse, people running. Our Man in Elmhurst, Wade Winston Wilson the third, who was not actually a third, but he liked the way it sounded, was just such a man.

He had come to the Queens Center Mall, and gotten asked to leave a number of stores, but permitted by a few others. Some of them were cool with it, thinking he was doing some last minute shopping before a costume party. Even a few asked to take selfies with him, which he dutifully explained would be an usie, as us or we were in it, not someone's self.

Whether it was by accident, design, or just because it was absurd, he now found himself, fully in his mercenary gear, in a women's store, you know the kind, they sold dresses, shoes, and oh yeah, about half the store was dedicated to undergarments. Of course that's the place you want a guy with 'fake' katanas sticking out of his back, and 'guns' in holsters. It was plastic, right, right?
Colleen Wing has posed:
There's an advantage to being dressed nondescriptly in loose cargoes, a plain tee, and a flannel hoodie. Especially if you look like a small and demure "Asian" woman. Nobody questions the shoulder bag. I mean it's an obvious gym bag and that long thing sticking out one end is obviously just a tennis racket, right?

Not even a ninja would ghost past security as easily as Colleen did in plain sight. The one guard who was looking like he might be questioning her was easy to handle with a shy smile and a quick look away, followed by a stolen glance back which he "caught".

Yeah, he wasn't going to be suspecting anything now.

Thus it is that Colleen finds herself in the clothing store, indeed in the lingerie department, trying to find plain, strong panties and a sports bra that can live up to the rigours of her world.

A harder task than you'd imagine. Or not, if you're in her world.

"Look, I don't want to have to demonstrate this, but these I could puncture with my finger. I need something that can stand up to punishment." Colleen pauses to stare momentarily at Wade as he enters and looks around. Those ... don't hang like fake swords...

"Hold on a moment," she says, holding her hand up to the hapless sales clerk. She watches Wade a bit closer, noting the obvious (to her) weight of the guns as well, while calculating how long it would take her to bring her own katana into action should the need arise, adjusting strategic and tactical options to suit.
Boom-Boom has posed:
As New York hurtles away from summer and into the frozen wastelands of winter. One's wardrobe must change or at least be refreshed. Which means shopping.

Not that she's loaded, even on on a teacher's pay cheque, even one from a private school up state.

Underwear with unstable molecules tends to soak up most of that cash money. So it damn well better be comfy and look FAB. The current outfit comfy if very snug. A bomber jacket with a lambskin lining in black with BOOM embroidered over an explosion on the back. Clingy blue jeans that somehow stretch way more than Levi's that tight should allow with some knee high boots with it's own lining matching the jacket. Long blonde hair left wild with some yellow tinted cat eye glasses. Sure there's some weird stuff going on. The dude in the mask with the swords kinda sticks out. The Asian woman in cargos complaining that underwear is too flimsy.

There's a look of amusement on her lips while she otherwise peruses some bras further along in the alphabet.
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool had not done anything wrong. He had behaved so far. And if the store had security, uniformed or otherwise, they had yet to approach him. His costume was better than most Halloween costumes, by far, but it wasn't entirely unheard of for someone to do what he was doing. The greater oddity was that he was a man, and he was alone. There wasn't even anyone accompanying him at a distance with a camera.

The sales clerk with Colleen said, "oh, yes, they're designed that way. These are for those short time uses, the kind you put on, and that special someone won't be able to resist. I'd be happy to show you towards our more durable stock, the everyday use."

With Colleen heading away, her gaze turned towards Deadpool. She politely made no gesture, instead heading towards Tabitha, who also seemed to be focued on Deadpool for the moment. She decided to begin, "that's a new one. I don't know who he's supposed to be. But last week we had a couple walk in wearing Star Wars armor and some other character. I think one might be called Boba Fett? We don't see many singles do this... but, how can I help you?"
Colleen Wing has posed:
"Not just everyday," Colleen says distractedly while she assesses Deadpool's movements. That costume ... has she seen it before? Unclear. "Athletic everyday. I need something that can take hard-core workouts." Like fights. Chasing down crooks. Clearing a Chinese restaurant full of Tongs. That kind of thing. She wisely keeps this to herself.

"No, I don't think that's supposed to be Boba Fett," she adds, misconstruing what the saleswoman says.

Her eyes are back on the saleswoman. "So where's the athletic-ready stuff? Panties and bras," she asks, adding with a grin, "I'm not saying I want bulletproof, but I'm not not saying it either."
Boom-Boom has posed:
The sales clerk gets a chuckle as Tabby tries to find stuff in her size. "Considering this city. Dudes in Costumes have a fifty fifty chance of like being legit. Bit swole for a Spider-Man knock off though." she points out.

Colleen gets a chuckle. "The prices go up on that stuff. Unstable molecules. Worth it though when something has to survive accidentally being on fire." not that she admits it outright but there is a warmth to the blonde woman's aura. "Sports bras count as activewear since they bypass the ocean distance underwear rule." she explains and keeps her voice playful. "If you can see the ocean while wearing them, their swimsuits, if you can't then they're undies. If you wear them in a gym, they become active wear."
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool wandered through the store, touching the fabrics with his gloved hands, as if he could feel them through that, and hopefully, he didn't tear any of them. That whole 'you break it, you bought it' could get pretty pricy in a hurry. Speaking aloud, in a bit of a lyrical tone, he said to himself, "here's the story, about a merc named Wilson, who was dying from a cancer all alone. He had quite the handsome pecs, like none other, so they put him in a place called Weapon X."

The sales person was close to both Colleen and Tabitha, trying to help them both out. "Oh, we have athletic gear. We actually sponsor Empire State University's gymnastics team. The same materials we provide for them might suit your needs?"

"It's? actually, he seems to be looking at that section." They had been so distracted by the man, they hadn't actually taken a good look at the clothes around him. "If you'd like to wait a moment, I can head over and try to help him," leaving it unsaid that she would try and get him out of there if they were uncomfortable. She did softly giggle at Tabitha's remarks, "you're not wrong, miss."
Boom-Boom has posed:
That's an old themesong, as such while catchy. Tabby has no idea of the reference of fifty year old family sitcoms. "So if he robs the place. Not that I expect it, that whole get up could like just be stylish compression bandages for all the cancer lesions. Assuming it's not BS." she wonders aloud herself.

The suggestion to go help Wade gets a nod. The guy could totally have legit reasons to shop. And a rack that big probably needs support too.

So Tabby just idly peruses the lacier bras and rifles along the racks of rackslings for something that might fit. "I really should just go get custom fitted. Be nice if I had proper TK, but noooo." that gets kept sotto voce but her expression is more playful.
Deadpool has posed:
Theme songs come and go, but they will live on forever on streaming, and social media. They just need someone with a suitable audience to reference it, and what's old is new again. The clerk would head over to Deadpool, trying to help him, but that part of the conversation was reasonably quiet, and didn't carry. A moment later, he would head in a different direction, without wandering too far, while the clerk was suddenly called to the attention of another customer. Such was life in retail. But with the athletic section given, if not necessarily a wide berth, how about a medium berth, Tabitha and Colleen were free to go about their shopping.
Boom-Boom has posed:
It's probably and since she tabby first hand experience with these things, probably very soft and comfortable on skin. Some materials just don't breath that well.

And she can't wear her uniforms all the time. Likely Wade might have irritated skin no amounts of lotion can help.

That said. Some old songs linger even with women born after they were released. "It puts the lotion on it's skin. or else it gets the hose again. Oooog ooh ooh!" that's gonna be stuck in her head all day now.

Eventually she does find what she is looking for. But it might also be absolutely not what she wanted. One bra, unstable molecules. In her size, or close enough. But dear god she has a look of revulsion when she lifts it off the tack to look at it. "Dear god I must have been born unlucky!" the thing in her hands a flesh colored basic as all hell thing suburban moms from the early nineties would have been ashamed to wear.

The bra equivalent of granny panties.
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool's costume, which consisted of fabric, plates, and stretchy, athletic material, didn't look the greatest for his skin condition. But he did like to wear a nice cushion underlay beneath it, so it was soft and gentle. But no matter how soft it was the man's skin just wasn't designed for the kinds of vigorous activities he got up to.

Turning at the line from Silence of the Lambs, Deadpool seemed to pop up in her personal space, over her shoulder, and added, "Yes, it will, Precious. It will get the hose." He then laughed, having quoted the following line. Wait, this guy had the movie memorized, or he just knew that scene well. "Which is, an unfortunate double entendre in this environment; the kind that could end up with me having a one way ticket to a meeting with Boris, the mall security guard."

"I know that it's tough being a security guard in this day and age, that woman over there," he seemed to look at a fifty year old woman, "took three pairs of stockings, but do I tell on her, no, because I believe in stockings. I'm pro stocking. The world would be a better place with more stockings. And I'm sure those Thai kids can sew a few more for pennies on the dollar, or whatever they get paid there. If they get paid. They probably don't get paid."

"That depends, were you born on Friday the Thirteenth, or another classic horror film?"
Boom-Boom has posed:
"Having been in county a couple times, there's the hose and then there's the hose. I say let her go! It's getting cold these days and she might be on a fixed income." To be fair, Tabitha is absolutely fighting the urge to swipe something. tabby's volume kept low.

The horrible bra is put back before the blonde starts recreating women's rights protests from the sixties and seventies. Sadly the bra might actually survive if she lit it on fire.

"I don't think they even get fed. Second World Problems." she points out as she wipes her hands off on her hips.

"You want horror. I was Born on the Forth of July."
Deadpool has posed:
"I've been in county almost every moment I've ever been in this country. DC doesn't have counties. Oh, wait, you meant county jail? What's a nice young non-minority attractive girl doing in a jail in a country like this? I thought you'd be exempt if experience has taught me anything."

"That explains the scene from that lawyer show where he set up a crime by going every night to the security office with a cinnamon bun, getting the guard to turn away from the cameras, for a set period of time, while he planned to have a buddy steal an assortment of goods. Not that I took copious notes or plan to do that myself, naturally."

A moment later, he would shake his head, "that's not horrible. You share your birthday with Steven Grant Rogers, Captain America." He then did an awkward salute, standing at attention. You want horrible, I was born on the Twenty-First of December, same as Jane Fonda, Ray Romano, Kiefer Sutherland, Samuel L. Jackson, Steven Yeun, and worst of all, Andy Dick."
Boom-Boom has posed:
"At least being born near Christmas kids still usually get a present. I mean I don't know your like socioeconomic background." There's a shrug of Tabitha's shoulder But We were dirt poor redneck trailer trash. All I got was a hot dog. Didn't even get to play with fireworks. Oh no, honey, it's America's birthday, that's much more important, you understand!" Tabby might seem kind of annoyed as she flashes back. "And when I said, no I did get a backhand for my troubles."

The girl mimicking getting slapped, the swing, and them mimicking the hit.

"Also. I don't know who most of those people are. Jackson yes. cause well, he's in everything." kids these days.

No culture.
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool had no reason to interrupt her, so he listened, and listened, and he felt more sympathy. When she finished, he said, clasping his gloved hands together, "okay, first of all, you're overdo for some birthday gifts. Whatever you want from this store, it's yours. Second of all, it's pretty rude to ask someone's socioeconomic background. Thirdly, I was poor. I'm not now. Well, not poor in the financial sense. I'm poor in lots of other ways. Fourthly, you're better off not knowing who Andy Dick is, but you should see the Walking Dead's first five seasons or so, before it went downhill, even if it did get Negan, oh Negan. And everybody would suggest 24 for Keifer, but I'm going to say you should watch Designated Survivor. Give it a shot, and it's a lot shorter too."
Colleen Wing has posed:
"I didn't get Christmas presents or birthday presents," Colleen says, having returned from the athletic wear department, prizes in hand, just in time to catch that lament. "Count yourselves both lucky." She pauses, thinking. "But yeah, Fourth of July would be a really bad birthday. The nicknames alone..."

She affects a full-body shudder.

"I like having a useless birthday nobody cares about best. September 13, 1999."

That's a reference so obscure only a total and absolute terminal nerd would get it.

It's also not true, but that's part of the joke.
Boom-Boom has posed:
Arms fold beneath her chest and hips tilt as a smirk forms on the blonde woman's features. "I may comeback after this place has had a chance to restock. I clearly missed the last sale." she looks around for signs of violence. These two may have experience in BlackOps and wetwork, but fifty percent or more off is risking death.

"So for now I'm probably moving on soon. You saw how bad that sling looked. Plenty more places to shop in. It's like hunting. Gotta be patient!" which might feel like irony if anyone that new Tabitha heard that.

Colleen chiming in gets a grin. "Christmas wasn't that much better. Socks and underwear. And nothing fun. Speak up, get smacked."
Colleen Wing has posed:
"Soul sister!" Colleen holds up a fist for a bump at the "speak up, get smacked" line.
Boom-Boom has posed:
Tabby absolutely does not leave Colleen hanging on that fist bump. That would be a party foul!
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool rather emphatically rolled his eyes, which was impressive for a man wearing what appeared to be some kind of leather, pleather, or fabric eyes. He rolled his head too as he did it, "all right," he clapped his hands together, "you get whatever you want," he pointed to Tabitha, "you get whatever you want," he pointed to Colleen, "you get a car," he pointed to a clothes rack, "oh, wait, got carried away. I'm not Oprah. But I do know about Space: 1999."
Colleen Wing has posed:
Colleen's eyebrow (the right one, not the wrong) crawls up perilously close to disappearing under her hairline, which would be an impressive feat given her hair is pulled back. "My, someone knows his pop culture trivia." Her eyes stray over the shop. "But I'm afraid this place doesn't have what I want, unless they've put the Kamakura blade in the back room or something."

She holds up her little bundle of modestly-sized sports bras and panties that verge on the bulletproof after all. Kevlar-lined panties. Who knew?

"So I'll have to settle for this ... but ... ah ... I don't take gifts from strangers."


"Colleen," she says, jutting out her hand for a shake.
Boom-Boom has posed:
Okay. Tabby knows that one. "Bees!" she raises her hands over her head and mock cheers. Thankfully there's no bees. Not that she has allergies to them. But they still hurt!.

The collection of outer undergarments Colleen snags making Tabby pout and wince. "I hurt just looking at those things." she says and chuckles playfully, maybe folding her arms again a little tighter before against her chest.

Thisn is clearly a woman that's had to bind herself in the past.

The hand is shook though. "Tabby!" she greets back cheerfully.
Deadpool has posed:
Deadpool was paraphrasing something, from somewhere, "I wouldn't live anywhere without pop culture. I thrive on pop culture. I require pop culture." It was probably a lower thing, a deck thing, of people, on a trek, through the stars, but that would be telling. "Have you tried Harry's House of Hilt, the Blade Inscription, Sharpe's Swords and Spatulas, or Fred's Frying Pans, wait, no, that wouldn't have a Kamakura Blade. Probably not. You know, you might want to give him a call. Just in case."

Looking at the modest bag, and the comment about strangers, Deadpool offered a gloved hand to Colleen, "The name's Pool, Deadpool." And then his eyes, in his mask, began to squint. "Hey, wait a minute, aren't you, yeah, you are, you're the Daughter of the Dragon. I saw you take two guys at once. The moans, the cries, the wails, it was music to my ears, and my ears couldn't see enough of it."

With his right hand shaking Colleen, he would cross his arms, and use his left hand to shake Tabitha's, even if it looked silly, or maybe because it looked silly. "Hello Tabby, is your last name Cat?"
Colleen Wing has posed:
Colleen looks around hastily, blushing. "A fan are we?" she asks, voice hushed. "Two? Must have been a while ago. They don't let me fight without at least three these days." It turns out that mild-mannered, demure braggadocio is a thing. "Lost too much money betting against me."

She coughs slightly. "But I'm kinda incognito if you don't mind... Deadpoo... Oh Compassionate fucking Buddha, not THE Deadpool!?"
Boom-Boom has posed:
Okay there are some references that no matter how old, still get thrown about. This one might be a literary one. "Daughter of the Dragon? Are you... are you a Vampire?" Tabby curls her index and middle finger down in front of her mouth in mock fangs. Pointed ears peek out from blonde hair as her eyebrows arch behind her glasses. The ears seem to be real. So she's had brushes with supernatural creatures in the past.

"Sounds very much like a don't fuck with him name. But that's probably what might keep someone alive from what I can see." she suggest and chuckles. "And It's Kat with a K. Purr and all that!" she adds with another eyebrow bounce.
Deadpool has posed:
"Only a little bit. I swear I can quit when I want to." He replied back sarcastically when asked if he was a fan. "I think it was the first time. The promoter seemed to be trying to talk you out of it, but you just had that glow, that you knew you could do it, and you did." He nodded along, hearing how she had advanced since those early days, only for her to cough and go into a bit of a surprise.

He put one gloved hand across his face, so that the outside of the palm flanked his lips, well, where they would be. And he whispered, "I don't think Buddha can do that. Or else that's even more messed up than usual. Celibate monks, but a compassion lover Buddha? I guess it might be all right, if he's compassionate. Does it make a difference?"

Then to 'Tabby Kat', he asked, "do you hang out with Hellcat, Black Cat, Catwoman, Catman, Black Panther, Tigra, Puma, Cheetah, Wildcat, the other Wildcat, Shadowcat, Feral, and of course, what meeting of the Kathmandu would be complete without, Mr. Tawky Tawny?"
Colleen Wing has posed:
"Oh, the first time, yeah, they thought they were going to have to move after dragging my body out of the cage," Colleen says. She turns her head Tabby's way to add, "It's my cage name. I do cage matches sometimes to blow off steam."

And earn money. But that's probably best left to herself.

"It turns out Mr. Pool here has seen me fight."

The fact that Deadpool frequents illegal underground cage match venues actually, perversely, makes Colleen less nervous of the fact that he's carrying real weapons, not costume.


She just shuts up, blinking, at the list of cat-themed heroes and villains. "Huh. Common theme, I see."
Boom-Boom has posed:
"Just Shadowcat. Feral is a bitch, even if she is an actual cat. Nobody is furry for her!" she states and nods solemnly. "You left out the WildCATS." Much like she leaves out the periods that break up the acronym.

The clarification does have Tabby checking if Colleen does have actual fangs. None, ahh well. "Hey, if it's something you're good at and enjoy. I say go for it. Unless it's like awful stuff like hunting mutants or other crap. Sport fighting is pretty rad!" she does admit that much.

Why she doesn't seem worried about Wade might have probably been answered by the name dropping that did just happen.
Deadpool has posed:
"It's really not that much harder to drag a guy out of the cage than a girl. Just a weight problem. And any underground cage match worth its salt would have at least one or two guys working for them who could lift a few hundred pounds," Deadpool explained. It was good that his illegal activities lightened the mood, as they were often a problem in most company.

"Never met the WildC.AT.s, though I'd love to get Zealot's number." She left the periods out, and Deadpool put them right back, because he believes in periods. Wait, what kind of sick monster does that make him?

"I once tried hunting mutants. It's really dangerous. They hunt you right back, did you know that? They hunt you back!"
Colleen Wing has posed:
"I don't hunt..." Something in Colleen's demeanour suggests she's ... not exactly lying, but there's a huge bleeding chunk of the story lying on the sidewalk, missing from what she's saying. "I live in the Kitchen. I don't have to hunt for trouble. It comes looking." Ah, there it is, fresh and bloody in her hands.

"Anyway, it was a blast meeting you two. If you're in the Kitchen, drop by Chikara Dojo for free lessons and, on Thursdays, to meet the man who met Andy Griffith."
Boom-Boom has posed:
"Weight and leverage. You got that size difference as well." Tabby states as she mimics hauling a rope over her shoulder like a continental soldier.

With Colleen making an exit Tabby grins and nods to deadpool.

"We totally do. We have a word for it. Snikt!" she says and starts to make her own exit from this particular boutique.

More will soon be scoured for options.
Deadpool has posed:
With both ladies having chosen their wares, even if they didn't try them on, Deadpool would gently usher them, walking with them, and try and coax them to the checkout line, which was mercifully, empty, so they could go straight up. "Everything they're having, and oh, yeah, two of those gift cards, the ones you can load up money onto? Put grand on each." They just so happened to have them. The girl at the desk would ring both sets of clothes, "one bill, but separate bags, and if you can, separate gift receipts, just in case anything's? whatever?" he would shake his head.

So when it came time to pay, Deadpool pulled out his GothCard, which actually said 'Deadpool' in yellow lettering, and had a symbol on the front that seemed to mirror the one on his belt buckle. Two circles, a line down the middle, and two dots. It even said it was 'Good Thru Forever' whatever that meant. The girl took it, looking skeptical, but it was slid in the machine, he put in his pin, though he cartoonishly hid it with his free hand as he did it, and a moment later, the receipts would be printed, original for him, and gifts for them.

"It was nice meeting you two. And a belated happy birthday, or early, whichever you prefer, from the fine people of Deadpool, Inc. Toodles!" And with that, he pulled out what looked to be a noveltry Star Trek communicator, from the Original Series, and he said, "Scotty, beam me up." As he did it, if they were watching, he adjusted something on his belt with his free hand, and he would dematerialize before their very eyes, actually transporting, or was it teleporting, somewhere else.